oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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