I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
