I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
