chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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