i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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