I need help removing her.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
