OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
