i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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