We're facebook friends in real life
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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