im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Girls should come with a carfax report
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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