We're like a lot better than the average bears
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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