dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
