We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
