That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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