Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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