my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
