Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
