You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
