When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
