Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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