So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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