your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
