Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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