Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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