I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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