During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize