i don't plan on having that self control this summer
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize