Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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