We're like a lot better than the average bears
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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