you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
