My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think I sprained my soul last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
