okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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