Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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