Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
