That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
