I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize