Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize