but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Drake has all the answers
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
