You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
