Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
