Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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