I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
