Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
