A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is the high leading the old right now
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
