im having a threesome with these popsicles
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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