I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your penis caused this!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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