Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
