can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
