I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
