so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
