Pappa wants mamma naked
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
