I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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