So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
