It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she looked like the before picture.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
