Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
