Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
