Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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