i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
