Already got asked if we're dating
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
